I just turned the corner from the kitchen to the dining room, and met up with our three year old son, and he hit me with this:
Oh, the brutal honesty that is childhood.
First off, I have to say that I can really only take credit for about 10% of the code in this plugin, if that. I really can’t even take credit for the idea. And let me also come out and say that I am in no way any sort of PHP genius. I’m sure there are things that could be done better in this plugin, but this works for me. So, with all that out of the way, the idea for this came from Dunstan, and the majority of the code came from Aaron Schaefer’s Code Viewer plugin.
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“How ya doin?”
A pretty simple, generic greeting, wouldn’t you say? Most people have their own generic greeting. Some use the timeless “Hey.”. Others use the classic “What’s up?”. Me? I use “How ya doin?”. Always have, probably always will. The thing with generic greetings is that they are just that - generic. They’re not really meant to be meaningful, and if stated in the form of a question, they’re not really meant to be answered. For example, if someone asks you “What’s up?”, you should respond with something along the lines of “Not much”; don’t really tell them what’s up.
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The Wife and I were in Mexico on our honeymoon last year. One evening, we were at the resort bar, sitting outside on the patio, and this older (60’s) American (and judging from what they talked about the entire time, obviously very wealthy) husband and wife were sitting behind me. Part of their conversation went like so:
Evidently Montana is inhabited, at least in the mind of Jack’s wife, only by hacksaw wielding animal killers that haul ass in their cars with no regard for how fast they are going. Well Jack’s wife, I have to say, I’ve spent a few summers in Montana myself, and I’d have to admit that you really aren’t that far from the truth.
Mexico. On our honeymoon. At breakfast. A conversation between the wife and I:
| The Wife: | That guy behind you just got a beer with his breakfast. |
| Me: | Really? |
| The Wife: | Yeah, he looks like that actor, you know, the one that’s been arrested a bunch of times for beating up his girlfriends. |
| Me: | Who? |
| The Wife: | You know, he’s been in a bunch of movies. Looks tough. Good looking in an unusual way. |
| Me: | In an unusual way? |
| The Wife: | Yeah. His name is Tom something. Last name starts with an s. |
| Me: | You mean Tom Sizemore, from Reservoir Dogs? What was his characters name in that movie? |
| The Wife: | Yeah, that’s Tom Sizemore, sitting behind you. It really looks like him. |
Some time passes, we eat our wonderful breakfast. I make a trip to the men’s room just to get a peek at Sizemore. I come back from the men’s room.
| Me: | That really is him. Dude, that’s Tom Sizemore. |
| The Wife: | I told you. |
Some more time passes. I attempt to casually get another peek at him, just to make sure it really is him, by doing the old stretch-and-look-over-the-shoulder move. I fail. Sizemore (yeah, I really think it’s him) spots me. Then it happens.
| Me: | He moved. He switched to the other side of the table. |
| The Wife: | Really? |
| Me: | Yeah. He’s onto us. He knows that we know it’s him. Shit. Now he’s gonna get you. |
| The Wife: | ME?? |
| Me: | Yeah you. He beats up women, not men. |
| The Wife: | Grrreeeaaat. |
Breakfast ends. I keep reminding the wife that Sizemore is on the loose and he’s got her number. She isn’t worried. Long story short, we saw him later that day on the beach, and no, it wasn’t really Tom Sizemore, although that guy sure as shit looked like him.
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