Retro – Dude, that’s Tom Sizemore
Mexico. On our honeymoon. At breakfast. A conversation between the wife and I:
| The Wife: | That guy behind you just got a beer with his breakfast. |
| Me: | Really? |
| The Wife: | Yeah, he looks like that actor, you know, the one that’s been arrested a bunch of times for beating up his girlfriends. |
| Me: | Who? |
| The Wife: | You know, he’s been in a bunch of movies. Looks tough. Good looking in an unusual way. |
| Me: | In an unusual way? |
| The Wife: | Yeah. His name is Tom something. Last name starts with an s. |
| Me: | You mean Tom Sizemore, from Reservoir Dogs? What was his characters name in that movie? |
| The Wife: | Yeah, that’s Tom Sizemore, sitting behind you. It really looks like him. |
Some time passes, we eat our wonderful breakfast. I make a trip to the men’s room just to get a peek at Sizemore. I come back from the men’s room.
| Me: | That really is him. Dude, that’s Tom Sizemore. |
| The Wife: | I told you. |
Some more time passes. I attempt to casually get another peek at him, just to make sure it really is him, by doing the old stretch-and-look-over-the-shoulder move. I fail. Sizemore (yeah, I really think it’s him) spots me. Then it happens.
| Me: | He moved. He switched to the other side of the table. |
| The Wife: | Really? |
| Me: | Yeah. He’s onto us. He knows that we know it’s him. Shit. Now he’s gonna get you. |
| The Wife: | ME?? |
| Me: | Yeah you. He beats up women, not men. |
| The Wife: | Grrreeeaaat. |
Breakfast ends. I keep reminding the wife that Sizemore is on the loose and he’s got her number. She isn’t worried. Long story short, we saw him later that day on the beach, and no, it wasn’t really Tom Sizemore, although that guy sure as shit looked like him.
